"Blush"​, My fur-child I miss you !!!

I had never imagined that the tragic unprecedented demise of my pet (a female lab dog, named “Blush") with no visible warning symptoms of any fatal or minor disease, would be so painful and irreparable for me and my family. On 14th Jan,2017, at around 8.15 a.m. the death of my pet, indeed, proved one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. It was unbearable and shattering experience to see my fur-child lying inanimate on floor with tongue thrown out and eyes wide opened. I am unable to delete all of her adorable activities from my memories. Every activity of her haunts now and then. The fur-child remained the part and parcel of routine life of my family for more than four years. Prior to half an hour of her death, she walked with me and performed all routine toilet activities and played with a stray dog, barked at the dog, entered into the room galloping from the staircase, drank water, washed her legs. She sounded completely normal and playful before I left for a College. I rushed back to home within a few minutes on receiving telephonic calls about her unexpected behavior. My family members were inconsolable. The funeral performed in a local pet hospital by an electric arrangement was very pathetic and heart rendering. I feel dejected, hapless and shattered. Very painful…. I understand that grieving is a personal and highly individual experience… no philosophical vision can console me. She was a source of comfort and companionship, of unconditional love and acceptance, of fun and joy. Her presence was everywhere…while eating, watching TV, cutting birthday cake, going for long driving in a car. She and her activities were the sole topic of routine talk during leisure time between family members and routine visitors. She was, always without any miss, the first to rush to door on hearing the doorbell. She never sounded tired and inactive. She always welcomed the visitors warmly and acknowledged everyone playfully and enthusiastically waiving her tail inexhaustibly. Oh…God…where has my fur-child gone ?…. I still sense her presence early in the morning...licking my legs…pulling me from the bed reminding a walk for her toilet activities. I can still sense the wetness of her cool nose rubbing against my hand…Oh…no…she is no more…no more barking sound during the knock of the door by newspaper vendor…her food pan is still lying…her belt is hanging without her presence…. I never felt such kind of pangs of pains even in any human or acquaintances’ demises…. Please help me overcoming this loss….

 I am fully aware that I have been undergoing the following psychological situations: -

• Feeling of Guilt ...I feel responsible for my pet's death, grappled with the "if only I had been more careful" syndrome. 
• Denial makes it difficult to accept that my pet is really gone. It's hard to imagine that my pet won't greet me when I come home, or that it doesn't need its evening meal. Sometime I fear that my pet is still alive and suffering somewhere.
• Extreme depression is robbing me of motivation and energy, causing me to dwell upon my sorrow.
• I have anger (on me) for not to be more cautious for last few days….                                  "Harsh M Krishnatreya"

Unconditional Love

I got a 'friend request' from a stranger woman on Facebook. She asked for my contact number. I hesitated to share this. Soon, I came to know that she was my elder sister’s friend and had visited my native place couple of time during her college days. I, with great difficulty, could remind her visits with my sister long time back. Those were the days when letters were the only common mode of communication. No computer, no mobile no internet….I could also remember that once there was casual talk (amidst my mother, sister, elder brother and grandmother ) in our family about establishing a marital alliance with her and my elder brother. That could not be materialised. After completion of her graduation, she left for her native area. Afterwards, we never met. With the passage of time, all of my family members got separated and settled with their respective families in different parts of India. 
We met on social media after a very long duration of separation. She could search me. I was surprised that she knew each and every detail about me and my family. She had gone through each and every post of mine posted on the Facebook thoroughly. She had lost her husband ten years back. She expressed utter shock and was un-consoled to learn about the untimely demise of my elder brother and mother. She was also unaware of my grandmother’s death. She was staying with her only son who was working. She admitted that she loved our family and missing our family very much. She also confessed that she wanted to be the part of our family. I tried to sense and imagine her feeling for my late elder brother. I tried to divert her from the topic philosophically. 
Next day, She invited me on the marriage of her son. I was not in a situation of attending the same in such a short notice owing to certain inevitable circumstances. I expressed my inability to attend the same. I got her invitation card on WhatsApp and also got a family picture of the marriage of his son and daughter-in-law.  
After one week, her son contacted me on WhatsApp. He informed about the death of her mother on 12th May 2017 (morning). It was shocking to learn that she was a cancer patient and was in hurry to marry her son. She never allowed me to know about this. I was thrown into bewilderment and utter shock when he revealed startling information. Her son informed me that she had a deep love for me and I was the only subject of talk for her throughout her life. She could search me on social media with the help of her son and felt no hesitation revealing about her liking for me to her grown up son. She used to watch my pictures, messages and posts incessantly. She never expressed this to me. She, throughout her entire life, had nurtured only one desire. She, once in the lifetime, wanted to meet me. She could not help talk to me when she felt claws of death approaching near her. Her son expressed that he observed visible sign of peace on her face when she first and last time talked to me. Oh, God! Nothing left to express except saying...RIP 
Indeed, this is a great example of a woman's immense patience, her power of tolerance and amazing strength of sacrifices! Only a woman can do this....Salute.... 

                                  "Harsh M Krishnatreya"