Envy and Enmity

Envy is the root cause of every common and unusual problem.

All kinds of enmity can be cope up or tackled or smoothened or cool down but the complications created out of envy are almost irreparable and irretrievable. Not of foes but beware of your friends and acquaintances nourishing envy against you. An enemy challenging openly can be dealt with and over come strategically but any rivalry or unsound situation erupted of envy cannot be managed and tackled easily. In fact the lock of envy is without a key whereas enmity have multiple keys to cope up with. Acquaintances nourishing envy always like to see you in devastating situation without any fault of yours. They quite often exaggerate your ignorable shortcomings and always tend to elaborate your trivial lapses happened owing to inevitable circumstances and undermine your worth noticing achievements. They can any time over react and come heavily on you for the cause only known to them. The person with meager achievements always fall envy of you and strive hard for a shield to defend him/her. Such kind of persons always uses their cunning innovative skill in searching the ways of putting you down and low. It’s too easy to justify one’s own wrongs and blunders but it’s too difficult to justify others for their lapses. It’s common and natural to find faults in others and ignore own wrongs. Person criticizing others overwhelmingly is actually exploring a shield in disguise to hide his own faults. Peoples are found now and then scratching others faults and frequently remain indulged in severe criticism of others. They are in fact those who need a shield to cover their own faults and want people to divert their attention from their failures. A successful person will hardly involve in such senseless criticisms. A positive thinker always keeps himself engaged in searching opportunities to improve his personality rather than exploring the modes to criticize others. An envious person can get hurt if you happen to prove dominating and appealing amidst any gathering and he can unexpectedly come up heavily on you raising baseless queries and create chaos in the smooth running meeting. The man feeling jealous of you can put you into bewilderment by insulting or undermining you on matters considered worth complimentary. The praise worthy achievements are either ignored or undermined by the man feeling jealous of you. He can put you in utter confusion by hurling words of severe criticism for your praise worthy achievements.

The old story of “A man, his son and a donkey” is every time relevant for such kind of peoples. They like to look down upon you if they find you too engage in your work and will be too quick to pass remark, “What’s the use of money if family suffers company?” On the contrary, if you take due care of your family again the envious has his words of criticism to fling, “What a shame always sticking to woman (wife)…too womanish” You can never satisfy the man envious against you. They are always tending to take the benefit of you till your last drop of blood is absorbed but remain constantly too alert to repay it. They always expect you to take their every evil intended action positively but they brand every gracious and sincere step of yours immature or unthoughtful or full of selfishness. They are always attentive to poke their nose in the matters hardly related to them. They are too fanatical to hold themselves up to hide their envy and quicken to pass undesired comments visibly underrating you. They expect you to recognize and overrate their link with a relative of a friend whose brother is President’s P.A. and like to underrate your direct communication with the President. Their reaction (overreaction) is unpredictable and awesome. They disturb you considerably and destroy your creativity by their unsound utterances. They can spoil your relationship with others simply because they cannot tolerate your closeness with them. They always feed you with negativity against others who are otherwise maintaining sound relationships with you. They are too possessive of you for nothing. They can break or cut short your smooth going music played by you efficiently and may ask you to stop this as they find it mistuned or have got their head ache or got to make few urgent calls. Scary of your remarkable personality and noticeable achievements they always remain in the strong grip of insecurity and avoid appearances of their spouse, fan or friends or lovers before you. They are too alert to admire you in the circle of their acquaintances. They are too protective and sensitive against the fragile fence of fake achievements they have created around them to attract their spouse, fan or friends or lovers and keep them remote from the smell of your worth noticing genuine creative and constructive activities.

Irrespective of their low academic qualification they have stamina to challenge highly qualified and efficient persons. They are too courageous to criticize the language of an eminent linguist and suggest him the way of improvement in language. or direct a pilot about the technique of taking off. They are too enthusiastic to suggest guidelines for personality development to a successful and efficient psychologist. Though they are too impatient, obsessive, morally low and highly intolerant but they want you to accept them as a model of patience, tolerance, morality and a man of values. They now and then indulge in hot arguments with you with irrational attitude over trivial matters but brand you as “immature, irrelevant arguer, impossible to crack, unrelenting person.” They like to put their feelings and sayings before you straightforward and bluntly but never expect you to answer these. They hurl a long series of irrelevant queries without allowing you to clear your position or doubts. They always expect you to be transparent to them but they themselves are of dubious nature and maintain double standard in their life. You may come across few of your close relatives who are two offensive for no fault of yours. In fact, they are too defensive and fearful of being exposed of their evil-attitude against you and quick enough weaving a cover to hide their blunders. They like you to put down before their close ones or spouse and have a long list of justifications against their irrational approach that has caused you substantial damage. You will never find such person in a grip of feeling of guiltiness. They will never come up confessing their slipups and errors that have proved fatal to you or your close one. Being in your blood relationship they can have sympathy seeing you in great trouble and feel pity of you but will have contrary views as you arise up from the adversary and reach to better circumstances. They have pleasure in showering sympathy when you are facing an adversary but will never like you to recover to a better stage than theirs. There may be persons who are extremely compassionate in your adversaries but too intolerant and envious to your success.

There are certain tips to judge whether your friend is envious or not?

· If he/she says wants to cut you short in the ongoing argument saying, “really you are too rigid in your stand or inspite of entangling in argument why don’t you accept whatever I’m saying or you’re horrible and hard nut to crack?” –This kind of utterances cannot be from a decent, sober and intelligent person. A creative and genuine-debater understands that the every relevant discussion is the part of exchange of views in a democratic set up. Every party has got their unique stand and finds their respective stand right and others’ wrong. A person with average knowledge, lack of patience and low morale can have this kind of attitude. They (many times) fling sequences of irrelevant questions (which has no connection with the topic of debate) without waiting the answer from the opposite parties.
· If some one wants to conclude the discussion saying, “I wonder what you consider to yourself…you’re nothing before me…” This can never be the part of a healthy discussion. Above saying reflect that the party was not serious enough to discover the facts out of discussion but his sole motive was to prove his stand right. Such kind of people can go to any extent to prove their stand right. A debate is a constructive solution to sort out difference in opinions and find a suitable and most acceptable solution rather than putting some one down. Debate has provided many constructive solutions to the humanity.
· To comment on any person’s attitude, personality, nature and characters can never be the part of a creative debate. It’s the stage of submission of the party lacking logics and relevant points to prove his/her stand. A person
· A person with logics and sound background never uses any kind of hurting utterances and hurl remark on any individual’s characters and nature while argument in on. His sole motive lies in putting rational logics candidly against his point of view rather than putting some one down by hurling irrelevant remarks on someone’s nature and characters.
· The reminders of previous incidents (with the sole motive to put some one down), which are utterly irrelevant with the ongoing debate, can never be a part of a healthy and creative debate. The motive of using such kind of irrelevant examples is to get the debate deviated from its real subject